ABUSED TO HOOKED - A Nonfiction[2]

_So that was how everything finished. I stopped having the urges like that. I saw God loved me but hated my sin and I was not to continue in it. I became better as it were. But that was just the beginning. You know that thing they say about us not being able to save ourselves. We can do nothing of our own. Only Jesus can heal and save to the uttermost. I was really working hard. I tried all I could not to fall back, to just live God's will and be fine and never do wrong._

_We will not totally have victory over sin till we see our victory in Christ alone. Our works can do absolutely nothing. We must learn only to trust and believe on what Jesus has done. We must see ourselves therein. That is where our victory lies. We can never ever do anything by our own selves._

_My elder sister (you're right, the same mine mag one) was in a phase of her life where she needed to be instructed and taught. She didn't quite listen to the instruction and teaching when it came though. You know that you must learn to take God's word for yourself. The fact that I give someone a message or recommend a scripture for someone does not mean if it produces in the person's life, it will produce in my life too. My sister didn't know that and she affected me badly._

_Peer pressure was mounting on her. She began to do the cool stuff- attend pool parties, had a boyfriend etc. Then to cut the long story short (this is not her story I'm telling, it's mine), she started watching pornography. And she became quite addicted._

 _Now, how it affected me was that she started watching it at home after school. We were usually the only ones at home so I watched it with her. She chased me away once or twice but after I sneaked and sneaked, she got tired._

Talk about stubbornness. How many of us went to that uncle's house after being warned severally not to go there? If only we knew that God was using mummy to protect our sanity. Su gbon we were always proving adamant. Sola wanted to see. Sola wanted to know. Sola eventually got hooked. Don't be like Sola....

_I started talking dirty and it was cool because all my friends in school loved it. My sister's friends usually commented that I was more perverted than her( 'perverted' was something everyone wanted to be said of them. The most perverted was sort of a competition). That pressure made me enter pornography again and I became neck deep into it. The pressure was so much. Let me tell you how much the pressure to fit in was._

_I was not masturbating at all. One day, I watched a particular pornographic movie. It had 9 parts and I watched just a part of Part 1. But when I got to school, I boasted to everyone that I had watched all the nine parts (just so I could fit in). Someone was so surprised that he asked if I masturbated(if you didn't masturbate after watching that movie, you were not a cool person, you were a wimp). I actually never masturbated, I didn't even know what it meant at the time but then I looked at him and smiled and answered that I masturbated really well. And after I said that, I literally earned some respect lol._

Peer pressure is real! Sophia hold your ears and say after me peer pressure is real! If you've never experienced this, you were probably home schooled and your omo-get-inside levels is topnotch.  Every single child/teenager/youth has been pressured to do something bad or good(rarely though). The decisions we made then sure took its toll on us.

_I did all that just so I could fit in. I wanted to fit in so badly. Funny enough, I was still entering bible quizzes and winning. Life is not about religion. If God's Word is in your head but not your heart, you are missing it. Wow those were not good days._

_Oh, as part of my fitting in, I had a girlfriend then too. We used to call each other 'My Dove'. Trust me, when I see that same girl nowadays, I'm more irritated than impressed. What on earth did I see in her? She's beautiful and all o, but she's so far away from my type._

Excuse me Sir Sola,what is your type? Can you give us some qualifications or ehm requirements for those who'll like to shoot shots?

_Low key, if you see this girl, you'd be so surprised. Now that I think of it, I've not always been this intelligent. Or maybe I have, but 'my dove' was covering it. Kai! She flew away and never came back. Good riddance to bad rubbish._

Reminds me of Uncle Ammon and Tamar lmao. After the deed has been done, it was recorded in the bible that he hated her more than he had loved her. I know certainly that Sola did not go that far with his 'dove' but really? Good riddance? Bad rubbish? Okay okay, enough of side talks. Let's just kwantinue.

_I had to first change my friends and that was where the turnaround came._

 Birds of a feather, they say flock together. God is always a step ahead of the devil. The devil only works to bring God's will to pass.

_Apparently God was planning a very mighty revival in my secondary school and planning to get me connected to the pioneers. I was not doing well in school at all because I wasnt paying much attention again. But when my teachers began to complain, I knew there was something wrong. I was always a brilliant student, usually top of my class, but the moment I got into all these things, it was a total turnaround. I was almost at the bottom of the class sef. This was jss2 first and second terms._

_The Jss3 guys started their neco towards the end of 2nd term. During the exam, they used to have extended periods of prayer. The power of God was so palpable in their midst. Even in Jss3, those guys were having crazy experiences. They were seeing angels and having heavenly visitations. Some of them had several visions of rapture. They were casting out demons. It was just so mighty. The school tried to stop them. They did all they could. They called the leader many times to the Principal's office and told him to stop. Those guys never stopped. It was too intense. Some of the teachers hadn't experienced the same._

_At times, some people got demonized and all. They gave wrong prophecies, inaccurate and very dangerous words of knowledge. Everything was imperfect. Then these guys were kids and inexperienced with the supernatural. They unavoidably made mistakes and did many things wrong._

_The school had to stop them. One of them introduced me to Good Morning Holy Spirit and God's Generals. I saw God in a different light. I saw that God actually wanted to be known, to be experienced. I saw that those miracles we heard of were very real and we could have the same._

 _Well, apparently my new friends had elder brothers in that set so I became really close to those guys. That was how my growth actually began. I had found a new love, a new obsession. I totally forgot about pornography and those things. It became irritating to me. I just wanted to lock myself up and pray all day lol._

Show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are... Iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his brother... The caliber of friends you keep has a lot to say about you. You don't want to be rounded up by law enforcement officials do you?

_Then all the pressure to do Islam started in full force.I became really embittered. I think I want to say this story another time.  Maybe another teenage issues. We're focused on Pornography here. But I battled depression and somehow, homosexuality too._

To be continued...