MY STRUGGLE WITH PORNOGRAPHY [1]

Growing up into adolescence can result in an unconscious accumulation of knowledge from various sources. And the human mind is GIGO Garbage In Garbage Out. Whatever it is fed on will ultimately influence what a person does or does not do. Now, for some of us, the desire to know and understand all occurrences around us have at some point or the other gotten our minds wrapped in various activities, both good and ungodly. This is the story of Ann and her adventure into the world of………… She is free now, of course. God be praised!

As a younger girl, I was very inquisitive and I just wanted to know every single thing. I wanted answers to every single question that came across my mind. The passion and zeal to explore my world was burning in my blood. In the quest to find answers to some of my questions, I found God. Don't get me wrong. It was not that I didn't know God while growing up but I was this type of “mummy-and-daddy-are-going-to-church-let-me-too-go” you get? But a fateful day came and I found myself in captivity of God. I began to get to know God more and better. I knew the essence of serving God and that there were more things still yet to be discovered.

I cannot but emphasize the importance of developing an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ apart from being mere church goers that mark Sunday attendance. Even though for many of us, we begin our spiritual journey with this way of following our parents to church as a weekly rite and sitting in the Sunday School department with several other young folks like us. However, we must come to understand as we grow up and question why we do these very things. God is very much willing to reveal himself to you. Why, he has done that in Jesus Christ. But there is a need for you to come to understand the whole essence of it all and develop a relationship with God as you would with a best friend. When push comes to shove, it is what we have based our convictions upon that will determine our reactions. Darling Ann, please go on.

I completed my secondary school education last year at a pretty young age. So I was doing well academically, spiritually and morally. I was a girl every parent would look at and tell their children to emulate. Younger ones in school and in church looked up to me and wanted to be like me but I usually tell them that they should not aim to be like me but improve on being a better version of themselves. All through at the same time, when I looked at the trust and belief these people had in me, I would remember my flaws and the secret sins that I battled with. {Tell me about it} 
Sometimes back, six months to be precise, somethings started. As a young girl that just finished school and was waiting on God for admission, I was always home alone. Sometimes I will sleep, eat and press my phone. As at then I had already joined this lovely family of Distinguished Teenagers which by the way, I still bless the moment I clicked on the link to join. So it happened that on a particular day I was watching a video from one of my mentors about prayer on Facebook. After watching the video, I stormed on another video. Little did I know that clicking on that video would lead to my struggles with pornography and masturbation. 

It goes without saying that an idle hand is the devils workshop. Let me add quickly that an idle mind also is not far from being the devils workshop as well. And that is why we must be careful of the devices of the devil thrown subtly at us through various media in this present age. It is not uncommon to be confronted with pop-up ads and commercials featuring illicit scenes in our regular surf through the net. Movies, song lyrics, even down to inscriptions on clothes and products can influence and have little droplets in our mind which if not taken care of can build up into activities that we might not be proud of when they eventually happen. The writer of Proverbs admonishes us to guide our heart with all diligence. It’s a good admonition for this age and time and we should take heed to it.

In a bid to get someone to talk to, I chatted up Jay (an admin of Distinguished Teenagers). I did feel reluctant about it though because I knew that she would be very disappointed at me. So as I thought it over, an idea dropped into my mind that to introduce the story from the angle of a friend of mine. Jay told me to send my friend the group link which I did and she said she would slide into the girl's dm to talk to her. so I informed this friend of mine and pleaded with her to play along whenever Jay messaged her. I asked that she send whatever messages that Jay sends her to me. I knew that what I did was bad but it was how desperate I was for help. But this plan failed. I guess Jay was too busy. (Or perhaps God wanted to save her strength on people with real issues at that point in time?)

To be continued...

#nonfiction
#teenageissues
#pornographyandmasturbation
#talesfromateenager