ABUSED TO HOOKED- A Nonfiction[1]

There's not only one teenager struggling with sexual vices. The girl who seems to have her life on track,  the fresh guy who chants and the other one who sits in front during Sunday school...should I start counting? In this teenage issue, Sola speaks heart to heart with y'all -his guys and babes- and seeks to help you get by. Let's delve into today's episode shall we?

When I was 6, my brother went to school and my sister went to stay with some relatives. I was home with mom and I barely saw her because she was always busy with one job or the other, trying to get everything working out. I didn't have the best of childhoods. I grew up in the slums of Ibadan because my parents were just trying to get by. Dad was a Muslim and wasn't around much. Mum was the one always around but she still wasn't around much 'cause of her job. My mom wasn't a believer then too so we didn't attend church.

 Then we kids heard our adults speak about sex and really really bad things. It didn't make much sense but it sounded like the real life. I didn't think it was the real life because mom always spoke about several people in the area that got pregnant out of wedlock as teenagers. The things she said about them just weren't good. But she wasn't really bothered about me  because I was a kid (just 7) and I was innocent and all. Well, the cleaner of the central mosque, whom everyone loved and left their children with, was apparently gay and paedophile. He took advantage of me (and I'm sure some other kids)and in my early years, I was introduced to homosexuality ( in a low key way sha, not crazy crazy homosexuality like that- I really hope you get).

The trend is always the same. Parents leave their children with a trusted adult, the adult who is supposed to know better finds it interesting to play detty with innocent kids and boom the kids are initiated into mummy and daddy's play...

 I was actually in the best private school in Ibadan at the time and both my elder ones finished from the same school. The school we attended was a stark contrast to the quality of life we were living. This is why mom wasn't always around. She had to work those jobs to make sure we got the best at all times. Dad wasn't in Nigeria and he did his best too where he was but things were just so difficult. Anyway, we were living at Yemetu (I believe the equivalent of that place in Lagos is Mushin). I was mostly at home with my younger cousins and we just had little or no direction.

My first experience with pornography was when a certain woman  in the area connived with the elder ones that spoke about sex. They gathered us kids into her room, locked the door and played very pornographic videos for us. There was sex in literally every scene of that movie and they made us watch it. We could not leave, the door was locked. Luckily for me, my mom was around. The TV was really loud (maybe because they wanted us to get aroused- sound is a bad agent) and luckily, my mom heard from outside. She was so angry. She came to the room and almost broke open the door. That was the first Time I saw my mom raise her voice at someone (probably the last too). She was so angry with the woman. I can't describe how angry she was. Then she took me and beat me so much and told me never to enter anyone's room again

Well, the seed had already been planted in my heart and the years that followed were not pleasant and chaste for me. I had several sexual escapades with my cousins, friends, any lady at all. Luckily for me, we were all kids and had absolutely no idea what they did after removing their clothes and fondling with their private parts. Thank God for our ignorance. If not, we would have had sex.

The seed had been sown by irresponsible adults. What better way to experiment than with other kids when the parents are away? I still wonder what would have made someone show 'blue films' to little children. Aye ma le o

Then the devil took advantage of what was in my mind to afflict me. I had several sexual dreams at the time and most times, I actually enjoyed it.

Trust that devil guy to step in. Baba does not slack sha. Always looking for an opening to steal, kill or destroy...

Thank God my mom met her pastor, got saved and started taking me to church just at that time. Then they were telling me I had a Ministerial calling and it didn't make sense for a pastor to be doing bad stuff so in my mind, I was thinking God would take away my calling if I continued. I certainly didn't want that.

...but Christ is come that we may have life! And have it more abundantly too.

I started going to Children's Sunday School at Potter's Planet and learning and being blessed. I saw that all I was doing was sin and God didn't want it(I was already older so I didn't really enjoy it that much again sef). Then my elder sister introduced me to  Mine Mag. Wow thank God for Jadesola's story, La Conferencia and that old Mine Mag interview with Damilola Mike-Bamiloye. My mindset became sharpened. I saw that I can live out God's will. I saw that I can actually be sexually pure and most importantly, I saw that God is not angry with the bad things I did then. He loves me, doesn't condemn me and just wants me. Oh blessed be God. I saw those things in Mine Mag. 

 I was in Primary 6 then and we had left Yemetu for about 4 or 5 years. We were now living in a more reserved place. A good, well-to-do G.R.A. My life would have literally been destroyed if we hadn't left.
 That was just the beginning.

Ghen ghen ghen ghen...
(inserts that nollywood suspense track we are all too familiar with)

To be continued...

#teenageissues
#nonfiction
#sexualabuse
#pornography