Journey With My First Boo

Before we plunge into another teen issue today, it’s imperative to note that these stories are true stories of teenagers like you and I. It is about their experiences which I am certain that many of us can relate to. Don’t just go “awwn” and “ooh” over this story, it is not fiction. Let us learn lessons from the lives of others and put them in our hearts as we go on.}
In today’s world, dating is one of the most under defined words that actually weigh a lot on what we eventually do. If done at the right time, it can be as seamless as it should be. But what obtains nowadays is that the measures and conditions that go into the founding of such a relationship are usually done in such a way that the relations hip is doomed to fail even before it begins. And then theirs is the case of sexual purity, abstaining from sex till marriage and keeping the precious act of consummation solely to the place it was meant to take place, the marriage bed.
Without further ado, lets meet Deola (not real name), our distinguished teenager. Deola is a child of God and is in her late teens, but an insight into some of early teenage years would really shed light on what I’ve been hitting at. Do not mind my little comments from time to time, they’re just to add certain light where necessary. Do not even mind me at all. Are we cool?
I had my first crush when I was in Junior secondary school two. The guy had just finished Secondary school in one of the schools in Lagos. I stay in Ogun state. We met when he came for computer training in Ogun state pending the time he would gain admission. He was mature but I wasn't (was he?). His brother's Shop was close to my mum's so he introduced me to his little brother and I started having feelings for him (lobatan). He asked me out and I didn't know what to say because it was my first time. We then pretended to be in a relationship.
What was meant to be a commitment, a relationship actually between two persons began on a note of pretence. Not knowing what to say doesn’t always means yes. You should go into a relationship when you’re ready for it. You should know what the hell or heavens (how it turns out depends on you both) you’re getting into. Shared values, purposes, destinies tied together is what should define whatever relationships a Christian is getting into. If we take so much care in choosing our everyday friends and would not just get close to anyone out there, how much person s we hope to get intimate with? Not to worry, this is part of those comments eh. Let’s move on, shall we?
He became close to my family and they liked him. He comes to greet me at home and mum's shop. I didn't grow up with my father so he was never around. Sometimes we might not see for 3years straight and we would only speak on the phone. Mum never suspected anything and she wasn’t harsh. She trusts me and I also happen to be her favourite. It was therefore easy for him to be close to me. My family didn't know anything was going on because they trust me.
Some months later he asked me whether I loved him and I told him that I did. Then he asked me to prove it to him. I became confused and asked him how. He then said that I should kiss him. (Gbam! dia you are). I was in deep turmoil. I was a chorister and a Drama minister. How could I do such? I'm a Church girl everyone loves and trust. Our teenage Sunday school teachers had repeatedly warned us to never involve ourselves in ungodly acts. If I did what my boyfriend was asking, I know I would always feel guilty whenever we discuss issues related to it. I was already in JSS3 then so I didn't do it. He then told us to break up if I couldn’t prove it to him. Then I began to beg him to give me time at least 2years that I would do it.
“Boyfren” thought that the “relashunship” had progressed to a point and things could progress as well. However, Deola couldn’t do what he was suggesting. She was a ‘church-girl’ after all. Thank God for Sunday school. You see, as small as those words of advice that are given by those teachers, they can be very instructive and save lives when the time comes. Besides, the whole essence of Sunday school is to the end that you grow and also mature spiritually as a believer. More than just marking attendance and serving at church, you need to have and develop a close and personal relationship with your father.
Away from that sef, a guy or lady who is in love with you shouldn’t always opt for the way out when things don’t go as planned. And it was not as if the thing he was asking was a good thing. Didn’t he know who he was engaged with? Oops, they were not even official yet. Remember they were still pretending. You may seem to be trying things out and pretending here and there, but reality is never played, it acts itself out whether the actors are aware or not.
Soon it was time for him to leave Ogun state. He left in October and promised to come back by December. I didn't see him until 2years after.
Did I hear you say “promise-and-fail”? what else do you expect of a young guy who had just left secondary school? He was still subject to the dictates of his parents and couldn’t feed himself yet in case he decided to by all means make it back to Ogun state by December. This is why it is better that a relationship is better between two consenting adults who are able to take care of themselves and are in charge of their lives to some considerable extent. You can’t fight for someone when you are still fighting for yourself. Do you get my drift? The Lord grant you understanding.
Although I was still deeply in love with him, I loved him more than he loved me or I would rather say he never loved me. I was so happy when he returned, I was now in SSS2, then we continued from where we stopped. He got me a gift this time and the fire of love increased. He asked for his kiss but fortunately my Sunday school teacher had taught us a lot more so I was wiser than I was in Jss3. (Thank God you adjusted to what you were being taught) I didn't kiss him, and this time we didn't break up, he reduced his conversation with me and he Was always replying our chats with “Ok” or “Kkk”. (sound familiar?) It was always painful but I dare not complain. What if he breaks up with me?
My elder brother didn't stay with us from childhood, he stayed in Lagos with my Grandma. He came to visit us and secret boyfriend was around. They became close pals so fast and the fact that they both came from Lagos made the friendship deep. They both exchanged contacts, agreed on the day they would both return to Lagos, went out together and did a lot together. They both went back to Lagos and I was happy my brother also liked my secret boyfriend (In case of in-law sturvs shey?). I later became a boarder and was without a phone for some time and couldn’t chat with him or call him but He was always on my mind. During holidays, I would subscribe and check all his posts on Facebook since I left for hostel.
I Stopped checking his posts and decided to forget him in SSS3 because I was preparing for my WAEC and JAMB exams. I made up my mind not to love my secret boyfriend again. Truly the love stopped and I was able to concentrate. I had friends in high school that were in a relationship or the other. They would come back then gist me about how they kissed and romanced. The good girl that I was, I usually felt irritated most times. After our valedictory service, class outing and all, we left the hostel and everyone moved home. Some months later, my secret boyfriend came to visit and I was surprised at how deeply in love I was with him despite the promise I made to myself. He stayed for a while and I wasn't given admission to my school of choice. He was always there to console me.
On a faithful Sunday he came to my house after church service. We were eating and Mum told me to serve him food too. Now I didn't remember to tell you about my Sunday school teacher who was a banker. Immediately I finished high school, he was transferred to another State. From then I was on my own as regards spiritual matters and Mum didn't see it necessary to educate me because I still remained her favourite godly girl. After eating that very Sunday, my Mum told me she was going out, leaving the two of us alone in the house.To be continued...