TEENAGE ISSUES-- Peace That Surpasses[1]

The teenage years are regularly counted as formation years. During these ages, children grow into young adults and experience a range of emotions from anger to disappointments to happiness and so on. Major life forming events take place during these years also that spur these emotions and its usually very tough going through many of those lonely and without the feeling of any one to share thoughts with. However, with God comes joy and peace that gives every teenager including you, the grace to carry on.

Shall we briefly go with Jane and see how a teenager rose from the depths of depression and is now living a healthy and joy-filled life?

Growing up for Jane wasn’t smooth. Prior to her teenage years, she had begun to live the life of an adult, handling chores and taking care of her young ones.

“I was usually up by 4am preparing breakfast for all. Wake them by 5, monitor their bathing and prep for school. Wash clothes and relegate duties before leaving for school before 7. Close school and go for lesson and return past 8pm. Make preparations for the next day. Rinse and repeat.”

Being involved in all these duties coupled with the fact that she was an introvert who wasn’t interested in the regular activities girls her age was interested in limited the amount of interactions she could have with those around her. Therefore, when depression came knocking, it met a ready door opened to rooms of anxiety and worry. Things weren’t really strong spiritually too, she admitted.

“My Dad was a Muslim so my siblings and I weren’t really allowed to go to church even though we still usually went. There were times when my dad would forbid us from doing any Christian related stuff and we had to find ways to do them without his knowing. So my relationship with Church wasn’t strong and it is something that I still struggle with. Praise God though, my dad started attending our church last year, but the damage had been done.”

Jane confirmed the assertion that depression, like many mental health sicknesses build up over time. She began to lose gradual interest in things around her. The rate at which her body grew didn’t satisfy her as she constantly compared herself to other teenagers around her. Her self-esteem greatly reduced and then suddenly, she lost all joy within her.

Coupled with the mental, physical and emotional stress from house duties and no one to discuss the changes she noticed, Jane’s depression grew worse and ungrateful and resentment were its fruits. Hatred began to brew unconsciously especially towards her family because as she put it, “each time I gave indications that I needed help, no one ever did. What was the use? I held all my emotions in.”

The loneliness began to affect her relationship with God also. And this was where the cookie crumbled.

“I felt God didn't need me or wasn't interested in me or wasn't important for me. When maybe someone preached or said something, I would go back to God but when those feelings hit again, I would derail. It became a constant thing and I developed the mindset of God isn't interested or need me because I was slipping back into sin repeatedly.”

Kindly note here that as believers, one of the greatest assurances that we have and must always keep at heart is the promise of Gods ever abiding presence. The last words of Jesus aptly captures this, “…and see, I am ever with you, even to the end of the world” (Matt 28:20 BBE). So when feelings of loneliness and doubt want to make us feel otherwise, we should stay assured of this one fact, that our Lord has promised and he keeps to His word. Amen? Let us continue with Jane.
Rather than continue to tell her story, I feel that you had better hear from the believers’ mouth this time around.

“That feeling comes so easily especially when you see other Christians being steadfast or when you hear them say stuff like this thing happens to you because you're not a believer or a true child of God. You're not speaking in tongues because you don't have the Holy spirit because you're not a child of God.

What's the use of always trying to be holy or do this and that when the Holy spirit isn't residing in me because I'm a sinner?”

I’ll like to add briefly here that apart from the fact that we all know that our righteousness is not of our own, our words and actions greatly matter especially when it comes to others around us. Words that come from our mouths should be comforting and encouraging words. Those around her said the things that happened to her happened because she wasn’t a believer. Like someone telling me Paul suffered in Macedonia because he didn’t have the Holy Spirit. SMH seriously. Jane, please go on.

“I finished school and failed Maths in WAEC. Same in GCE. I passed my NECO with credits in all except English. I passed my first Jamb but I didn't get the course I chose. I wrote a second Jamb, and still didn't make it for the school I chose. Then the rule about addition of O'level was made. It dashed my hopes.

I was always crying myself to sleep. I became despondent. I started hating myself and my family especially my Dad because we started experiencing financial difficulties. I felt this was happening because God turned his back on us, or me because we were not truly worshipping him.

Then the suicidal thoughts began. I brushed them off but when they began to happen frequently, I looked it up on the net, did more than 5 tests with all the same results: Anxiety disorder and severe depression.


Written by: Ogunleye Abiola
To be continued...

#nonfiction
#teenageissues
#talesfromateenager
#peacethatsurpasses
#phil4:7